“You just need some time, it’ll get better.” How many times have you heard this?
It’s a common response to breakups and shakeups.
It’s based on the adage, “time heals all things.”
Frankly, this is a misconception and doling it out is a disservice.
We’re giving time way too much credit.
Aside from telling time and counting it, it does not have any special skills.
It does not have any superpowers.
Time does not go to medical school to learn how to take out pain from the heart.
It is not a healer.
It certainly does not heal. Time is just a relationship between two things.
That’s it. Nothing more, nothing less.
You know what time really does? Time ferments. It transmutes today's situations into tomorrow’s triggers.
And there is nothing sexy about issues fermenting.
There are people who have the same relationship over and over again but with different partners.
It goes something like this: fall in love, the love phase fades into issues and arguments, fall out of love, break up. Next person in line, wash and repeat.
Same circus and the same monkey: you.
Time simply counts the days between when you feel like crap until the day you don’t.
If you separate healing from time completely, you’ll see that in the context of recovery, time by itself is incomplete. It offers no answers, no insight and no clues. In fact, healing is a completely different ballgame.
Healing is not about counting time. Healing is about working on your shit.
It is about taking a look at yourself and asking questions.
It is about peeling beyond the details of what happened and who said what to getting to the root of the problem.
It’s about sincerity with yourself by asking, what patterns are running in the background of my subconscious that I am participating in this situation?
Now this is the stuff healing is made of.
So you see, time does not work your issues out for you.
Time does not heal for you.
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